Friendzoned

I'm just trying to lasso in the last exasperated thought and put it into syllables, words, phrases, paragraphs, pages and pages and pages I could write about my love for you.

And maybe I don't know the meaning of being stoned, but when I first met you somebody threw a boulder at my heart.

You see when I think of you and me, I see you and me kissing in that tree during recess that everyone always talked about when we were younger.

When I think of you and me, I see me passing you a note in grade school; as time stands still for the second you take to write back.

Now we're in high school, and when I think of you and me..

I see you devastated by that jerk that shredded what was left of your heart into scraps, and me trying to pick up the pieces hoping it will be the last one.

Your complexion of beauty so drastically distorted by your personality of care, affection, love, and occasional sassy-ness; making you beyond what is beautiful.

You: spinning spinning spinning, so lost in the pandemonium of who kissed Joe, worrying about it and asking all your friends if they know?

JUST LET IT GO.

So I finally muster up the courage to tell you what's been on my mind all these years, and say..

"I just wanted to let you know how true your beauty is, and would like to know if you would.."

-But before I manage to say another word, you say, "Lets just be FRIENDS."

Perfect People

Perfect people don't exist.

People walk with heads held high like they're important.

Others walk looking down at the ground cause they know they aren't.

Neither is true, the stature of a man does NOT imply his importance as a person.

You walk with your head higher than others as if they were below you.

Your head droops low as if you're below them. 

Little did you know, you might be best friends if your eyes ever met.

Little did you try to know that cocky bastard; that really could be just as afraid of people as you are on the inside.

Little patience he had to wait for your head to come up, so he could see if you were worth his time.

Anyone you ever meet will put up a front.

If you cared enough about someone you'd try, and break IT down.

People pass each other by picking, and choosing who they will talk to.

Well pick yourself up to look around, or pull your head down to see what's in front of you.

It will give you more choices to pick from; if you're still picky about who you talk to.

Perfect people don't exist, but you can try and find them.

If perfect people existed, you wouldn't try and hide them.

WE ARE ALL ROBOTS

We are all programmed to go about our day as if nothing were wrong

(01010)

We all decide to go to school, or the programmer corrects us

(10101)

We all have a good day, unless the programmer says otherwise

(011010)

We all feel everything on the inside, and nothing on the outside unless the programmer says we can (1101011)

We all talk small until the programmer makes our circuits bigger

(01011010)

We all have thoughts, but we don't share them unless the programmer tells us to

(0110110)

We all have feelings, but don't feel them unless the programmer lets us

(101101101)

We all learn new things, but don't remember unless the programmer makes us

(010010)

We all want to help each other break out of this programming, but the programmer separates us 

(0-1-1-0-1-1-0)

The programmer sees us differently than we see ourselves; stone faced, expressionless, empty chested

(00000)

The programmer has no care for you, so what's the point of even trying?

If you do he'll leave you disconnected.

well guess what programmer, I don't feel like dying.

Most won't fight it, we aren't programmed to.

Then again, machines don't always do what they're programmed to do.

#different

Normally I'd try and hit your soul with something, 

or get you to think about something in a different way; 

But this time I'm going to be silly,

 and try and lighten the mood with a story.

A wild poop rolled by on the floor next to Sarah and said, "Hello, my name is Thomas. What's your name?" And Sarah said, "Shup Thomas!.. oh crap why did I say shup." And Thomas was so offended she said the "c" word so he cried and turned into soggy poop. The soggy poop decided he would try and visit Sarah in his new liquid form; He oozed out of the shower head while Sarah was on the potty. Then Thomas asked, "Are you making me a friend?" Thomas felt lonely because most people don't like soggy poop.

But Sarah wasn't pooping, and he was sad. But her dog was pooping, and Sarah named his poop Karli. She was pretty poop. Thomas thought to himself, "If only I could spend a day with her; I would want nothing more in my soggy life than to a hard poop in it." So Thomas asked Sarah a favor, "would you be able to put in a good word for me? I know I'm soggy, but my feelings for Karli are real." They started to go on a dates every week, and Karli found a new love for Thomas. She realized that although he was squishy in the middle, he also had a kind and squishy heart. 

They moved to Shitsville to start a family, and a new life together. Thomas then realized how hard it was to find a job as a squishy poop. Sarah owned a store in Shitsville, but Thomas forgot about her because he replaced her with Karli. She was bitter so she didn't help him. He started drying up, and Karli realized he wasn't so squishy after all. Karli's love for Thomas started to fade after he got hard.

He became more obsessed with his body, and wasn't giving her enough attention. She started to cheat on him while he was at the gym with his buddies getting harder. Then Karli started getting very sick, frequently in the mornings. It was inevitable, and after the test, she came to find that she was pregnant with the local fly's kid! Thomas was very happy, and thought that they were going to have a baby boy. Little did Thomas know what was going on when he went to the gym.

9 months later, Thomas is delivering the baby. Excited to see his baby boy he reaches out to hold him in his arms. When suddenly, the poop child sprouted wings and flew away shouting, "You could never be my father, you can't even fly you fool!" Thomas"s heart was broken. It began to swell, and became 10 sizes too big! He could no longer hold himself up, and fell on top of Karli smashing her with his incredible weight. Thomas was unable to move, then shortly after died from his heart exploding. Karli could not undo what had been done, and lied under Thomas suffocating to her death.

Color My Soul

Color me every color in the spectrum. 

Color me red for my controlled temper ready to burst.

Color me green for being a jealous bastard for no reason.. I need to work on that.

Color me yellow for my vibrant and unique personality. Able to get along with anyone, relate to anything, and be there for everything.

Color me purple for the girly parts of me that will love shopping and cooking forever.

Color me orange for my strange sense of adaptability to a red or a yellow.

Color me blue cause I'm way to emotional to be a man.

Never can seem to not fall in love, I guess you'll have to color me pink.

Or color me black like the emptiness in my heart for the people that take that love for granted.

Color me magenta or turquoise for Christ sake, I have so many mixed feelings sometimes I don't know what color I would be.

Maybe I'm plaid.. Or a strange mix of colors on a hipsters shirt that's supposed to be "abstract".

Take my soul and sift through the different colors there.. And you still won't know all my true colors.

Remember, there are colors of the spectrum that can't be seen.

Something's Wrong

Every day feelin like I'm alright

Time for bed, but I can't sleep at night.

Something's in my head and won't go away

Trying not to worry just want to play.

With my thoughts I'm never insecure

In my brain I'm always unsure.

Time to spit just let it flow

Always holding on, time to let go.

Let loose lifted in my head, grey goose got a fifth by the bed

Dippin in the purple got me drippin like I'm urkled

Stop the trippin,

Time to take tips from the teacher bitchin

When I don't care bout the shit that they frontin,

In their heads thinkin that they really somethin

Got me long gone by the first five minutes,

Thinkin bout the bars in my head throwin fits

Not let out enough like your kids pet,

Feelin upset, to the point I wanna pretend

My best friend didn't cross me with my girlfriend,

Killin pain with mary jane got me feelin sane..

Makin wrong decisions every day,

no more caring what people say

My days feelin blurred,

My words soundin slurred

I'm scatter brained stickin to the shattered window pain,

Staring into my soul broken and sinister

Strippin my skin off into a minister,

Preachin to the kids, tell em to punch a Mr.

Poppin off like they possessed by lucifer,

Droppin out like a leaf on a connifer

Robbin the elderly,

Rackin cash up and sellin trees

Fuck a hitlist they hittin snitches,

Put their face to the curb they gettin stitches

Rip off the band-aid, 

Tip off the planned raid

These niggahs don't play,

Coming for your family in the day

Tie em to the bed and hear the screams,

Rape em cause they're soulless rotten fiends

They'll kill em soon so you won't hear it for long,

In my head there's something wrong.

Wishing I Was A Kid Again

Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Going to school, better look my best.
I'm at school, gotta put a smile on my face,
It's first period, and I'm already too tired to keep my eyes open.

Wake up, wake up, wake up.
It's lunch time, but I'm too stressed about my test next period that I can't eat.
Finally done with that test, now it's time to go home and eat.
Well now I have work, grab something quick, can't be late.

Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Time for my 4 hour shift, better ignore my stomach.
work work work, no time for play.
Get home feeling drained with too much homework to do.

Wake up, wake up, wake up.. only to do it again the next day.

I WANT TO KEEP SLEEPING.
Take me back to when I never cared what I looked like at school.
Take me back to when I would cry at school cause my crayon broke.
Take me back to when there used to be nap time.

I NEVER WANT TO WAKE UP.
Take me back to when the only true test I had was coloring in the lines with my crayons.
Take me back to when the hardest work I ever did was play at recess.
Take me back to when I used to have snack time.

IN A DREAM-LIKE STATE.
Take me back to when the only work I had was making sure I ate my vegetables.
Take me back to when I didn't know what work was and only knew how to play.
Take me back to when I was a kid, away from all the stress of the world.
And if you can't take me back then please hide me forever, or at least until I'm ready.

Tipping my hat

Tipping my hat to the girl with the tat.

Tipping my hat to the guy that looks.. overweight.

Tipping my hat to the girl up to bat.

Tipping my hat to the guy that skates.

Tipping my hat to the girl with the big nose.

Tipping my hat to the guy in ragged clothes.

Tipping my hat to the girl that smokes.

Tipping my hat to the guy that's shy, and when he speaks up he chokes.

Tipping my hat to the girls that are ignored.

Tipping my hat to the guys that notice them.

Tipping my hat to the one's that are lonely.

Tipping my hat to the one's that are loved.

Tipping my hat to the one's in the back row, never showing up unless they're forced to go.

Tipping my hat to the one's always on time, with glasses and a ready to learn look in their eye.

Tipping my imaginary hat to the guy that just stole mine, he may have needed it more than me.

Tip your hat if you hate being judged.

Now tip your hat if you don't judge others.

Tip your hat if you want to be better.

Now tip your hat one more time, and then throw it away.

No more tipping your hat.

Now let's see the change it made.

Free the child

Running running running from what she can't escape, attempting to fly as if she had a cape.
The cage telling her who she can and can't be.
The cage watching her when she doesn't want to be seen.
The time to be unseen and free is nowhere to be.
Full of lies, deceit, and guilt that brings her to her knees.
Feeling cramped and crushed in this collapsing cage.
She tries to b r e a k out, running rebelliously with rage.
The cage continues to shrink into a claustrophobic state.
No air, no light, feeling suffocated with hate.
The child is afraid, exhausted and caged.
The life in her eyes fading, like an ocean being drained.
The walls start to shake, tremble, and quake.
Saying, "give up child, I've won your soul."
She tosses and turns, terrifyingly contorted.
Her thoughts, her will, her imagination d-i-s-t-o-r-t-e-d.
She tries to flee screaming, "Just let me be!"
"I'm scared, I'm tired, my brain is on fire."
The cage is merciless malicious and cold.
Never will The cage free her, until she is 18 years old.
Struggling, stumbling, sinking into despair.
No hope, no escape, just the cold air.
She's empty and drained, unwanted and blamed.
She just wanted to be loved, cared for and accepted.
The cage left her defeated, depressed, and d i s c o n n e c t e d
  

Intro to my blog

Straight outta the toilet paper. Again.. S/O to Nelson. Like a sinister slithering snake, you may see me slide my slimy body through the deep dark dead of night. I only reveal my true self to those that don't need a flashlight to find me. However, if you press the button precisely an inch from your thumb on that purple flashlight, you'll see me just as clearly cause the lights were already on. 

My heart bleeds like an open sore on that weirdos forehead that sits next to you in AP Calc. Saying look at me, but don't judge me cause I'm not that weirdo in AP Calc. I'm not smart enough; But my heart beats hard enough. My arms like limp noodles, seem strong enough. And my favorite super villain is dope enough to destroy your super hero with his swagger alone. 

You may have guessed Dead Pool, but sorry Dead Pool fans; It's The Joker, played by the amazing Heath Ledger of course. I always route for the bad guy. Not because I'm evil, or like terrible things to happen to people. The reason being is the determination a super villain must have, and the up-bringing they all go though. Not only do their lives inspire to overcome any of life's challenges. 

It also challenges you to become something more than society would've thought possible. Be what people say you can't be just to prove them wrong. Be something more. Lastly, just as one of my favorite rap groups once said in song, and I quote from the title: "Express Yourself", by N.W.A. And just remember to be YOU.