#different

Normally I'd try and hit your soul with something, 

or get you to think about something in a different way; 

But this time I'm going to be silly,

 and try and lighten the mood with a story.

A wild poop rolled by on the floor next to Sarah and said, "Hello, my name is Thomas. What's your name?" And Sarah said, "Shup Thomas!.. oh crap why did I say shup." And Thomas was so offended she said the "c" word so he cried and turned into soggy poop. The soggy poop decided he would try and visit Sarah in his new liquid form; He oozed out of the shower head while Sarah was on the potty. Then Thomas asked, "Are you making me a friend?" Thomas felt lonely because most people don't like soggy poop.

But Sarah wasn't pooping, and he was sad. But her dog was pooping, and Sarah named his poop Karli. She was pretty poop. Thomas thought to himself, "If only I could spend a day with her; I would want nothing more in my soggy life than to a hard poop in it." So Thomas asked Sarah a favor, "would you be able to put in a good word for me? I know I'm soggy, but my feelings for Karli are real." They started to go on a dates every week, and Karli found a new love for Thomas. She realized that although he was squishy in the middle, he also had a kind and squishy heart. 

They moved to Shitsville to start a family, and a new life together. Thomas then realized how hard it was to find a job as a squishy poop. Sarah owned a store in Shitsville, but Thomas forgot about her because he replaced her with Karli. She was bitter so she didn't help him. He started drying up, and Karli realized he wasn't so squishy after all. Karli's love for Thomas started to fade after he got hard.

He became more obsessed with his body, and wasn't giving her enough attention. She started to cheat on him while he was at the gym with his buddies getting harder. Then Karli started getting very sick, frequently in the mornings. It was inevitable, and after the test, she came to find that she was pregnant with the local fly's kid! Thomas was very happy, and thought that they were going to have a baby boy. Little did Thomas know what was going on when he went to the gym.

9 months later, Thomas is delivering the baby. Excited to see his baby boy he reaches out to hold him in his arms. When suddenly, the poop child sprouted wings and flew away shouting, "You could never be my father, you can't even fly you fool!" Thomas"s heart was broken. It began to swell, and became 10 sizes too big! He could no longer hold himself up, and fell on top of Karli smashing her with his incredible weight. Thomas was unable to move, then shortly after died from his heart exploding. Karli could not undo what had been done, and lied under Thomas suffocating to her death.